Many phrases in common use are unnecessarily misleading, and in some cases this seems intentionally so. Some phrases are also factually wrong, whether that's intentional or not.
| Phrases | Better Rephrased / Explained |
|---|---|
| Copy protection | Copy prevention |
| Combination lock | Permutation lock |
| Revenue forecast | Income extrapolation, income guess |
| Cost savings | Lower expense |
| Convenience fee | Extra charge |
| Statistically significant | Statistically-salient possible effect and/or difference |
| Linearly correlated | Aligned |
| Underdeveloped country | Poor country |
| Developed country | Rich country, formerly-rich(er) country |
| Differently abled | Disabled, handicapped, crippled |
| Full figured | Fat, obese |
| Physically challenged | Disabled, handicapped, crippled |
| Mentally challenged | Mentally retarded, with mental/psychological problems |
| Accounts receivable | Still-unpaid customer bills |
| Letting employees go | Firing employees |
| Exotic dancer | Strip-dancer, stripper |
| Customer service | Customer-complaint area, money-back area |
| Safe space | Censorship area |
| Unmediated discourse | Talking face-to-face |
| Code of conduct | Power-enforcement rules of a controlling minority |
| Reproductive rights | Legalized abortion |
| Minimum wage | Ostensible minimum hourly-rate of law-abiding jobs |
| Academic consensus | Politically-acceptable in academic committees |
| Scientific consensus | Politically-acceptable in scientific committees |
| Creation science | Bible/Qu'ran-inspired pseudo-science |
| Indigenous science | Animism-inspired pseudo-science |
| Singularity movement | Techno-religion for terrified/delusional materialists |
| Artificial Intelligence | Machine learning, grant/money grifting scheme |
| Academic department | Mental inbreeder, university-affiliated grant-chaser |
| Community college | Finishing school for high-schoolers |
| Primary/secondary school | Low-security detention/indoctrination center for minors |
| Human rights | Contradictory secular commandments |
| Political activist | Disposable useful idiot, propaganda mouthpiece |
| News/media organization | Serious-looking propaganda establishment |
| Independent media | Niche-targeting propaganda establishment |
| People's republic | Oppressive dictatorship, kleptocracy |
| Democratic republic | Oppressive dictatorship, kleptocracy |
| Social justice | Fighting covert discrimination with overt discrimination |
| Social media | Anti-social media, parasocial media, brainrot media |
| Foreign aid | Diplomatically-administered bribe |
| Freedom fighter | Proxy guerilla warrior from a faction in current favor |
| Press release | Self-serving version of events |
| Industry standard | Industry copycat, mediocre in its category |
| Gender parity | At least half-female share, overwhelmingly female |
| Family values | Old-male control of private/family affairs |
| Chief Executive Officer | Managing director, top bureaucrat |
| Executive compensation | Shareholder loss |
| Key Performance Indicators | Kafkian Pursuits of Improvement, business wreckers |
| Political correctness | Thought control, taboo enforcement, overpoliteness |
| Abstract art | Visual schizophrenia, pretentious pareidolia |
| Otherwise intelligent | Stupid, idiot |
Some words are often used as deceiving euphemisms - again, the deception may or may not be intentional - even though these same words can have more legitimate uses in different contexts.
Such “weasel” words are sometimes used as an attempt to impress others, since making fancy sounds must mean you're a deep thinker... oh, I mean... a profound ideator, with an appetite for uncomplicated paradigm shifts to proactively facilitate the organic resolution of concerns regarding interpersonal issues while helping develop empowering, amicable, and inclusive outcomes in order to equitably leverage our assets so as to enhance shareholder value and challenge us to fulfill our genuine commitment to diversity and sustainability in light of social and ecological justice as well as human rights, both within our local community and our planet.
Either way, the table below shows some of these common words when used in their weasel forms, and translates them using a bit of snark and the occasional touch of cynicism. For some entries, it also shows which specific contexts turn those words into weasels.
| Words | Contexts | Reworded / Translated |
|---|---|---|
| Concern | Worry | |
| Amicable | diplomacy, politics | Friendly, agreeable |
| Comprehend | Understand | |
| Within | Inside, in | |
| Facilitate | Help | |
| Uncomplicated | Simple | |
| Marketing | Commercially-oriented propaganda | |
| News | Daily propaganda | |
| Axiom | Dogmatic assumption | |
| Infotainment | Entertainment with educational pretenses | |
| Infomercial | Commercial advertisement | |
| Appetite | diplomacy, finance | Greed, risk-tolerance |
| Non-profit | activism | Tax-efficient resource appropriator |
| Departed | obituary | Dead |
| Challenge | Problem | |
| Issue | Topic, problem | |
| Neutralized | military | Killed, destroyed |
| Pacified | military | Killed, destroyed |
| Pacifist | Anti-deterrence, war promoter | |
| Freedom | activism | It imposes my own ideas/interests on others |
| Democratic | activism | It imposes my own ideas/interests on others |
| Democratic | Imposition by tally, governorship of the ballotariat | |
| Preowned | marketing | Used, deteriorated |
| Profound | Deep | |
| Leverage | business | Use, exploit |
| Develop | Make, find | |
| Purchase | Buy | |
| Inexpensive | Cheap | |
| Subprime | business, finance | Low quality, unreliable |
| Accountant | business, finance | Money tracker, money mistracker |
| Audit | business, finance | Ass cover |
| Consultant | business, finance | Ass cover |
| Proactive | business | Giving the appearance of agency |
| Deceased | Dead | |
| Underneath | Below, under | |
| Empowering | Giving suckers the illusion of freedom | |
| Movement | activism | Gathering of desperates and/or idiots |
| Utilize | Use | |
| Organic | art, design | Seemingly natural, spontaneous looking |
| Privileged | Lucky, well connected, overly influential | |
| Underprivileged | Poor, born unlucky | |
| Priceless | art | Offensive to try to appraise monetarily |
| Diverse | Prominently showing non-caucasians | |
| Diverse | activism | Uniform in thought, compliant in behavior |
| Minority | activism | Non-caucasian, not straight-male |
| Worldwide | business, travel | In at least a few major westernized cities |
| Natural | Giving the appearance of health and/or safety | |
| Vegan | Animal-rights supremacist, anti-human in denial | |
| Inclusive | Targeting more demographic niches | |
| Exclusive | marketing | Giving the impression of high status |
| Overweight | Fairly fat | |
| Genuine | Honest, real | |
| Sustainable | business, politics | We want you to think we care about nature |
| Paradigm | I hope others will think I'm intelligent | |
| Synergy | business | Positive covariance, mutual benefit |
| Genius | Much more effective than most in a narrow field | |
| Brilliant | Unexpectedly effective, unexpectedly relevant | |
| Creative | Unexpected | |
| Creative | art | Schizophrenic, oblivious chronic bullshitter |
| Inappropriate | Embarrassing, rude, too revealing, too honest | |
| Belief | Dogma, state of ignorance and/or low intelligence | |
| Loyalty | activism | Voluntary submission |
| Innovative | business, society | Early still-remembered example of its kind |
| Forecast | Guess, projection | |
| Racist | activism | Know your place whitey |
| Anti-racist | Racist hypocrite | |
| Nigger | insult | Know your place darkie |
| Nigger | greeting | Buddy, friend |
| Anti-colonial | Anachronistic reactionary, useful idiot | |
| Environmentalist | Ignorant techno-conservative, anti-human | |
| Green | activism | Anti-nuclear, anti-poor, physics denialist |
| Intellectual | Pretentious snob, pretentious idiot | |
| Oppression | A type of oppression I don't approve of | |
| Pro-life | activism | Anti-abortion |
| Pro-choice | activism | Pro-abortion |
| University | Branch of the educational/HR complex | |
| Identity | Self-absorption, baseless sense of importance | |
| Culture | art | Snob code |
| Culture | Group-think | |
| Subculture | Cult-like fad, niche group-think | |
| Anti-vaxxer | I don't believe in empirical biology/medicine | |
| Gender | I don't believe in empirical biology/medicine | |
| Transgender | Endocrinally reconfigured, endocrinally unstable | |
| Feminist | Pro-female biology denialist, female supremacist | |
| Anti-feminist | Overly dismissive of women, male supremacist | |
| Anti-imperialist | Against US foreign policy, biased multipolarist | |
| Nazi | activism | Know your place non-leftist whitey |
| Anti-semitic | activism | Know your place non-zionist/non-jew |
| Fascist | activism | Know your place non-leftist |
| Anti-fascist | activism | Pro-violence leftist, anarchist |
| Anti-socialist | activism | Pro-violence reactionary, authoritarian |
| Socialist | Pro state-monopoly, pro forced-sharing | |
| Anarchist | Anti-peace activist, pro-violence activist | |
| Capitalist | I like money | |
| Anti-capitalist | I don't know how large groups of real people work | |
| Libertarian | I don't know how large groups of real people work | |
| Activist | Desperate, idiot, cynical self-promoter | |
| Solidarity | Group imposition, inflexibility, close-mindedness | |
| Revolutionary | Anti-peace activist, desperate useful idiot | |
| Conservative | activism | Backward-looking reactionary, openly regressive |
| Progressive | activism | Undercover regressive, anti-human in denial |
| Liberal | activism | Illiberal, authoritarian in disguise |
| Aware | activism | Easier to manipulate, brainwashed |
| Enlightened | Clueless, brainwashed, pretentious idiot | |
| Engaged | activism | Easy to control, easy to manipulate, deployable |
| Aid | diplomacy, politics | Help, bribe |
| Welfare | government | Rich(er)-to-poor money transfer |
| Taxes | government | Government-administered wealth confiscation |
| Hero | activism, military | Disposable useful idiot, murderer |
| Lobbying | government | Legalized corruption |